Tag Archives: playground

Adjust the kid to the world

In most cultures I know, a kid is born into a society that is set up a certain way and must adjust to it and respect its rules. In kid-obsessed America, in turn, the world is adjusted to the kid with all the disastrous consequences.

In respectful societies, politeness is required from everyone, no exception. Children, from the youngest ages, are taught and trained the rules of polite behavior in the society. Wherever they are, they must adjust to the customs and rules in force in that society. When, for example, a kid is taken shopping, it must respect other customers. There is no running wild, yelling, screaming, or bumping into people allowed. Any unacceptable behavior would be curbed and punished by a parent, a relative, or an older kid, and in these rare cases of parental failure, the disruptive kid would be removed by the staff, to an immense shame to the parent.

The same applies to public transportation, street, theater, cinema, philharmonics, opera, museums, and a plethora of other culture-related places. The same applies as well to cafes, restaurants, other people’s homes when visiting them, parties, gatherings, waiting rooms, and many more. All of these places have their rules that apply to both adults and kids the exact same way. When yelling is forbidden or inappropriate, it applies to adults and children alike. When sticking one’s snotty finger into a cake is a serious faux pas, neither an adult nor a kid should do it. If holding silverware wrongly is bad manners, there is no exception for kids. When a child is too young to be physically able to comply with certain rules, it should not be taken to a place where these particular rules are in force. Too young to eat politely? It should not be fed publicly. The vast majority of children in respectful societies are able to comply with all the rules of politeness at a much younger age than their American counterparts.

In kid-obsessed America, people fail to adjust the kids to the world. They adjust the world to the kids instead. The results are deplorable. They do not teach children how to behave politely in public places or in other people’s homes. They do not require polite behavior either. Instead, they adjust the places to the kid. Certain businesses are the best examples.

I was shocked when I entered a car dealership in New Jersey to see a huge playground right in the middle of the building’s large open space, with no soundproof walls, actually, with no walls at all. There were kids there making outrageous noise and their parents doing nothing about it. To make it worse, the place was situated right next to the employees’ cubicles. I was appalled to observe how disrespectful it is of a business to put up a facility that encourages disruptive behavior and to expose customers to it. However, to expose office employees who cannot leave like offended customers can, and make them work in these conditions is much more disrespectful. They have to think, focus, write, and answer phone calls in this atrocious noise environment. It is very unprofessional to neglect the customers, the employees, and adjust the business to the rude kids’ whims. The kids should be adjusted to the situation that requires respect for the customers and for the people working there. They should be required to stand still and quiet next to the parents in respect of other people, or be removed immediately.

I saw the same idea in many banks, in many locations, distant from each other, which leads me to believe that it takes place all over the country. The only difference was that the playgrounds in the banks were smaller. Regardless of the size, however, the behavior they encourage is unacceptable for a place like a bank. Both customers and employees have to focus when thinking about money transactions, listening to or giving financial advice or reading an agreement they are about to sign. It is highly disrespectful of a bank to adjust its premises to rude, disruptive kids while it should respectfully serve the customers and require the parents to adjust the kids to the world, in this case to the purposes banks exist for. It is also shocking that the customers brainwashed by the kid-obsessed culture do not protest and do not require order to be imposed.

Play areas with toys exist also in waiting rooms in doctors’ offices and emergency rooms. This is even more unacceptable than placing them in businesses like car dealerships and banks for a simple reason: sick people go there. Wherever sick people are, silence should be strictly required and enforced. It is unacceptable to encourage kids to yell and scream in medical facilities where people are in pain, and the play areas certainly encourage this kind of rude behavior because it is a given that American kids are not trained to play respectfully, i.e. quietly. More than anywhere else, the kids should be adjusted to the world they are brought to in such places. They should be taught not only basic respect but also compassion for suffering people.

The idea of playgrounds in bookstores is equally appalling, although for a different reason than the same idea in hospitals. Bookstores as well as libraries are places that by definition should cherish an intellectual atmosphere, silence, and reflection that is associated with books. They should require respect for reading and knowledge and instill this respect in the younger generations at the earliest age possible. Silence should be strictly enforced, which applies to both adults and kids. All kids should be adjusted to the rules that for generations applied to bookstores and libraries and unconditionally required all people to be quiet and respectful in the facilities. Playground type structures that encourage rude, noisy behavior should never be placed in venues associated with knowledge and reading.

Kid-obsessed Americans have this ridiculous idea that a kid should be kept entertained in public places. This is wrong because in this kid-worshiping society kids’ entertainment is always associated with making outrageous noise. Kids should be above all taught, trained, and required to respect. A respectful kid is able to stand or sit (if there are no adults standing) still and quiet in a waiting room, a bank, or a bookstore for as long as the parents require and need to do their business. There is nothing wrong in bringing a book or a quiet toy, but the emphasis should be put on proper training that teaches the kids to stay respectfully still and quiet in public places regardless of having any entertainment. Moreover, the above examples clearly show that having entertainment for kids does not lead to their respectful behavior. To the contrary, it leads to disrespect and unacceptable levels of noise in places where silence should be a rule.

It is different in Europe, where places like restaurants, gyms, and beauty salons with playgrounds exist. These, unlike the businesses in America, are geared and marketed towards people with kids, which is what distinguishes them from other restaurants, gyms, and beauty salons marketed to the general public. These businesses found their niche and cater to a certain clientele, providing additional services, i.e. babysitting in a separate room while the parents are having an adult conversation over dinner, are exercising or having their manicure or hair done. These places clearly advertise their goal and services, and it is impossible to confuse them with general ones. Catering to people with kids does not mean that kids can be rude and wild. I know a case of kids being removed from a restaurant for people with kids for acting as rudely as an average American child. They were adjusted to the world and removed for violating the rules of politeness.

People should never adjust to kids on public transportation. They should never give up their seats for a kid (unless the kid is disabled). The kids should be adjusted to the world which requires respect for adults, especially the elderly, and give up their seats for adults. Passengers should strictly request the kid to stand up or for the parent to remove it from a seat whenever there is not enough space for adults. If parents want to bring kids on public transportation, they must adjust them to the world.

Drivers should never be required to watch particularly for kids released wildly on roads just because their parents are too lazy to supervise or train them. The kids should be adjusted to the world in which roads are for vehicles, and they should either watch for cars approaching or stay within the parents’ property. Most societies in the world are set up this way and only in kid-obsessed America signs “Caution: Children at Play” exist as proof that Americans adjust the world to the kids.

The kids should be adjusted to the world and strictly be required to respect the rules. The world should not be adjusted to the kids and by no means should it be adjusted to their rudeness, disrespect, and lack of manners. Kids adjusted to the world grow up to be polite

adults as one must never forget that ill-mannered kids (the ones to whom the world was adjusted) grow up to be ill-mannered, entitled adults. Customers should not hesitate to require to impose order and remove rude kids. They should also not be shy and boycott the businesses that adjust to kids’ rudeness. They then should inform the manager or CEO why the company lost their business. There is nothing that gets the business’ attention better than loss of money other than bad publicity, which usually also results in loss of money.

Kids must behave respectfully on public transportation

Recently I read an article by an entitled New York City mother describing her kid’s rude behavior on a bus, i.e. singing or talking loudly, that treated this rudeness not only as normal, but also as desirable and required other passengers to put up with it without a word of disapproval. She called it teaching her daughter how to be a strong woman. Excuse me? Last time I checked in a dictionary, strong was not a synonym of rude or disrespectful.

All kids should be taught to behave respectfully on public transportation from a very young age. A two year old kid must be able, and in most cultures in the world, is able to react to simple adult commands like “be quiet” or “sit still” and distinguish a bus from a playground. It is important that children learn what they see around them and it is natural to be excited about it, but on a bus, the only form of expressing excitement by adults or children is whispering.

The entitlement of the author goes beyond all possible limits when she suggests that if someone does not like her precious snowflake’s unacceptable behavior, he or she should move to a different part of the bus or get off and take a taxi. No, dear lady, you are seriously wrong. It is not the polite person offended by kid’s rudeness who should get off, it is you, if you do not want to respect other passengers. It is your duty to control your kid ,and if you refuse or fail to do it, it is you who should get off and take a taxi.

Unfortunately in kid-obsessed America, this kind of entitled and selfish behavior of a parent of an ill-mannered kid is not unusual. It is especially noticeable on New York City subway and buses. I witness it day after day, year after year. Children behave outrageously: talk very loudly, scream their lungs off, jump like monkeys or run wild, remain seated while adults, and especially senior citizens, are standing, do not cover coughs and sneezes, slobber the handles all over (no wonder swine flu was spreading so fast in NYC), touch people with dirty, sticky of saliva hands, etc. They are always accompanied by adults, yet these adults not only do nothing to bring their kids to order, but also encourage rudeness, for example, a guy I saw tickling the kid to scream even louder although the actual noise level was already unbearable and unacceptable. Young kids are also brought to public transportation by their irresponsible parents after midnight, which should not happen. Parents sometimes bring kids in strollers, and while on the train, take them out and put them on a separate seat while adults are standing. This is also unacceptable.

Other passengers are afraid to point out kids’ rudeness because entitled, hostile parents harassed them into silence. As if their silence was not enough, I saw people unduly give their seats to 7-10 year old, healthy kids that just a second ago had the energy to run wild.

When the subject of rude children in public places comes up, someone kid-obsessed wanting to direct the conversation to something else usually brings up people who talk loudly on their cell phones in public places. These people just forget to mention that the obnoxious cell phone talkers are these obnoxious, screaming, never disciplined children twenty, thirty, or forty years later, equally disruptive as during their childhood, just in a different way. Their parents failed to teach them respectful behavior in due course and the selfishness and disrespect continues, only the means change. No, someone’s rude behavior on the phone does not authorize someone else’s kid to be disrespectfully loud or jumpy. Both are highly unacceptable. Cell phone talkers should not be used as an excuse.

When I was a kid, children starting in first grade were riding public buses (there were no school buses) alone without accompanying adults. They were required to stand still and quiet. If they failed to comply, any of the adults would reprimand them. Kids’ rudeness did not happen too often, but on those rare occasions when it did happen, other passenger’s order enforcement was immediate and unavoidable.

I have used public transportation in many European and African cities, and I have never seen something like this. What attracted my attention in Europe is that parents keep children away from other passengers whenever possible. For example, when there are two seats next to each other (obviously assuming that there are no adults standing) and one of them is next to a person, the adult takes the later, thus separating the kid from that person, while Americans tend to do the opposite, put the kid next to the person and let it touch and slobber on him or her.

Another interesting point is the privilege of the kid riding free of charge. In many European cities, young children (under 4-6 years old, depending on the system) are not required to pay a fare under the condition that they do not take a separate seat. This tradeoff is very fair, but American parents would obviously want it all – take the privileges without the duties.

Also, it is very rare that a kid is loud, obnoxious, or jumpy on European buses, trams, or subway trains. Kids sometimes try it, but are brought to order in the same second. Sometimes I have seen parents quiet a kid down before it actually starts making any noise, apparently they know the kid, and they know what is coming.

All children, starting from the youngest age, must be taught to behave politely on all kinds of public transportation. They must be required to sit still and quiet; absolutely no screaming. They must give up their seats for adults, especially for senior citizens (with the obvious exceptions of disabled or ill kids), and if there are seats available, sit still and quiet with hands off the mouth, and no touching people. It is the adult’s responsibility to hold the kid and other people should not be burdened by it. It is the adult’s responsibility to keep the kid respectfully quiet, and if he or she fails, anyone should freely require to impose order and respect. Parents should not wait five minutes, or even one minute, to quiet the kid down; they should do it in the same second when it starts making noise other than a whisper. It is the parent’s responsibility to teach their kids the clear difference between a bus and a playground.

Polite people should not remain silent about kids’ rudeness. They should strictly and immediately require parents to discipline the child and to stop the disruption. Long commutes, stressful work environments, very early or very late working hours make subway or bus rides miserable enough. There is no need to put up with ear-piercing screams, singing, or to remain standing while a healthy obnoxious princess is seated. People have a sacred right to defend themselves from kids’ and parents’ rudeness, entitlement, and selfishness and should make use of the right as often as necessary.